Getting Advice From A Funeral Director


Even though they see the effects of loss every day, good funeral directors should still be able to show empathy. They should also be knowledgeable and able to give a range of advice about the process of a funeral. They should be someone you can go to for questions and support or be able to point you in the direction of bereavement support.

In the event of a bereavement, you may not know what to do, it’s understandable that at a difficult time it’s hard to ask for help. If you search for funeral directors near me, you’ll be able to find advice and information on their website, but you can also ask in person.

Here are some of the funeral details that you’ll need to consider and may want to ask a funeral director about.

Burial Or Cremation

This will be one of the first decisions you’ll need to make. It’s a personal choice determined by tradition, religious beliefs, or the preferences of the deceased. This will determine the rest of the funeral process.


Burials usually take place in a dedicated cemetery or a burial site on church grounds (the churchyard) however there may be specific restrictions on who can be buried there, for example, they may have to be a local parishioner.

Many non-churchyard cemeteries are both for religious and non-religious burials but some are reserved exclusively for one faith.

Cremation And What To Do With The Ashes

Most burial grounds have an area set aside for a final resting place for the ashes of the deceased. With this option, you can even opt for what’s referred to as a miniature headstone.

For storage of the ashes themselves, there are various designs and shapes of urns, and miniature casket boxes to choose from. These come in a number of finishes and styles, from traditional vase-like urns in various patterns, to oak, mahogany, bamboo, or woolen caskets.

There are also more stylized urns, such as a teardrop shape. Depending on what you want to do with the ashes you may want to consider a water-soluble sand urn, which will be perfect for water burial, as some people do choose to scatter ashes over the sea (this is perfectly environmentally friendly).

For storage of the urn, you may choose to keep the ashes somewhere special, retaining them in the family home. But you may also choose to scatter the ashes in a special location that meant something to the deceased, some people see it as a way of setting their spirit free.

Choosing Hymns, Poems, And Music

Some funeral directors can even advise you on hymns and help you pick out something appropriate if you describe what sort of person the deceased was. Alternatively, they can point you to sites like NetHymnal, which is the largest collection of hymns on the internet and will allow you to search for hymns you want or feel are appropriate.

Directors can also help you do the same with music, whether traditional classical funeral songs, contemporary pop music, or a specific and unique song of your choice. They can point you to databases that supply funeral music, like Wesley Music.

A lot of churches and crematoriums now have the facilities to download and play music of your choice, as long as they find it church-appropriate.

Funeral Director may also have compiled their own collection of poems for you to choose from. Famous quotes, Hebrew proverbs, Buddhist sayings, and many more are also available.

Catering And Venues For After The Funeral

The funeral director will have connections from arranging funerals and so will be able to give you contact numbers for caterers if you decide to have your reception at home.

They can also recommend venues to use if you decide you want to hold the reception elsewhere. You may choose to use a venue rather than your home due to a large number of attendees or it being an easier location for guests to reach.

General Advice

As well as specific advice for arrangements and details of the funeral service, the funeral director can also give general advice and let you know what to expect on the day, etiquette, etc.

Funeral directors are more than just a business, so find one that can give you answers to all the questions you have whilst remaining sympathetic and understanding.

Rebecca Wheeler

Rebecca Wheeler